Door Industry Journal - Spring 2015

Also online at: www.dijonline.co.uk take a break 105 THE door industry journal spring 2015 WHAT’S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE A woman and a man are lying in bed next to each other when her phone rings... She picks up, the man looks over at her and listens... She is speaking in a cheery voice, "Hi, I'm so glad you called. Really? That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye." She hangs up, and the man asks, "Who was that?" "Oh, she replies, "that was my husband telling me about the great time he's having on his golf trip with you." FANCY GOING FOR A SPIN? A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments at Costa Coffee. “My arms have become so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one. “Yes, I know,” said another. “My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee.” “I couldn't even mark an X at election time because my hands are so crippled”, volunteered a third. “What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you”, said one elderly lady. “I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said another, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. “My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!” exclaimed another. “I forget where I am and where I'm going,” said another. “I guess that's the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. The others nodded in agreement. “Well, count your blessings,” said a woman cheerfully. “Thank God we can all still drive.” SHARE YOUR FUNNY PICTURES/STORIES If you have a funny story or picture you would like to share please send it to mail@dijonline.co.uk Only clean ones will be published (but it doesn’t mean we couldn’t do with a laugh, producing this magazine is stressful stuff!). POLITICS GONE MAD!