Door Industry Journal - Spring 2016

Also online at: www.dijonline.co.uk take a break 114 THE door industry journal spring 2016 PLEASE SHARE YOUR FUNNY PICTURES/STORIES If you have a funny story or picture you would like to share please send it to mail@dijonline.co.uk Only clean ones will be published (but it doesn’t mean we couldn’t do with a laugh, producing this magazine is stressful stuff!). ‘TALKING DOG FOR SALE’ A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden. The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there. “Do you really talk?” he asks the dog. “Yes,” the Labrador replies. After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, “So, tell me your story.” The Labrador looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS. “In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping. “I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired.” The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. “Ten quid,” the owner says. “£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?” “Because he's a damned liar. He's never been out of the garden!!”. 1. Monica Lewinski 2. Bill Clinton 3. Robert Mugabe 4. Adolph Hitler 5. Jorge Bergoglio 6. Winnie Mandela 7. Vladimir Putin 8. Linda Lovelace 9. Saddam Hussein 10. Tiger Woods So, you had trouble with Number 5? See opposite page……. SOUNDS FAMILIAR? Which of the following names are familiar to you? WHAT EXACTLY IS A FULL LOAD? BEAR WITH ME!!!!!!!!