Door Industry Journal - Summer 2013

Also online at: www.dijonline.co.uk 73 THE door industry journal summer 2013 take a break PUNOGRAPHY When chemists die, they barium. I tried to catch some Fog. I mist. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O. PMS jokes aren’t funny, period. Why were the Indians in America first? They had reservations. School trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz. Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds. I wondered why the squash was getting bigger. Then it hit me! Broken pencils are pointless. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Velcro - what a rip off! Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. Venison for dinner? Oh deer! I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. THE PLUMBER OF THE YEAR AWARD PART 2 ... THEY JUST KEEP ON COMING!!! Uuuummmm! Not much privacy there eh? And the reason for the door is......? This guy must have arms like an orangutan? And the winner is..... 90º to the left might help!!!!