Door Industry Journal - Winter 2013

Also online at: www.dijonline.co.uk 72 THE door industry journal winter 2013 take a break PEARLY GATES Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies and sagging jeans, arrive. St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I’ll be right back." St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance. God says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!" St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says, “Well, they're gone." “The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God. "No. The Pearly Gates." HEALTH AND SAFETY RULES - ALWAYS USE A STURDY LADDER! HAIR TODAY - GONE TOMORROW SOMETIMES IT TAKES A ROCKET SCIENTIST! Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made and a gun was sent to the American engineers. When the gun was fired the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back- rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Americans sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions. Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:.......... "Defrost the chicken." THE 'Y' CHROMOSOME People born before 1946 are called - The Greatest Generation. People born between 1946 and 1964 are called - The Baby Boomers. People born between 1965 and 1979 are called - Generation X. And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called - Generation Y. Why do we call the last group -Generation Y ? Y should I get a job? Y should I leave home and find my own place? Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours? Y should I clean my room? Y should I wash and iron my own clothes? Y should I buy any food? Just thought you might want to know "Y"!!