Door Industry Journal - Winter 2016

Also online at: www.dijonline.co.uk take a break 113 THE door industry journal winter 2016 HAVE A GOOD DAY SIR! A pensioner was driving his brand new Mercedes at 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140, then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him. The policeman walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, as to why you were speeding... I'll let you go." The man looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied :- "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!! The policeman left saying, "Have a good day, Sir" AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES.....ABSOLUTELY DEAD BRILLIANT!! Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: • Knowing when to come in out of the rain • Why the early bird gets the worm • Life isn't always fair • And maybe it was my fault Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well- intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, • by his parents, Truth and Trust • by his wife, Discretion • by his daughter, Responsibility • and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers; • I Know My Rights • I Want It Now • Someone Else Is To Blame • I'm A Victim • Pay me for Doing Nothing Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.